> We need diplomacy, not subversion.
I'd love to hear how. There are people I have never spoken to that, unprompted, deliver bizarre and misguided rants that label me a fascist.
A long-time IRL friend of mine got banned when someone found out that we are friends, there was an inquisition where it was taken as a given that I'm some kind of fascist, and the result was he got banned, then cancelled, then instances that hosted his alts got cancelled, and so on. This triggered a bunch of infighting, the instance he was on got cancelled, and the administrators have been telling people that I threatened to murder them. (Of course I didn't, of course no one bothered asking for any evidence to back up the claim that I committed a felony.)
If you email admins to ask why you got instance-blocked, some of them flip out and accuse you of "block evasion". There's no diplomacy possible.
> Build a healthy, vibrant, and wholesome community on your server. Show them that we should not be judged by the actions of a few bad actors that used our software.
Why should anyone be judged by the people on their server?
> Reach out to the admins of instances that have blocked you and discuss the situation with civility.
This has not ever worked for me. It backfired so spectacularly every time that I stopped. The only time it has worked out is when the admins pinged me to discuss a problem. If I go to them, the best-case scenario is insults, the more common case is that they double down and slander me.
There's the jerks on the blocking side of fedi that do what they do because they think fedi is some kind of battleground and they have to win, and there's the other side with the people that take it easy, tell stories, make jokes, share information. The
side is really not missing anything but a fight when the tankies-but-for-the-internet side blocks them.
> Build a healthy, vibrant, and wholesome community on your server.
> Be a community leader.
I won't try to stop others' attempts at this, but I would rather build a park for people to hang out in and let the communities build themselves. I think this works out better anyway. If I didn't know how to run an instance, I'd be on an instance where no one was trying to lead me or deputize people on their servers for some community-building project. As far as I can tell, trying to engineer a community is the best way to wreck an instance. (A topical instance is another thing, that's a different matter from trying to set yourself up as a leader.)
I dropped Twitter because it was a fight all day every day, to the extent that they banned Alex Jones (but...not Richard Spencer). SF trying to push its moral code onto the world. I couldn't use the site without someone tossing a political shibboleth at me or all-capsing about something or another. When people started landing on FSE from Gab, a lot of them had sharp edges, looking for a fight. That seems to be what a lot of Twitter refugees expect, too. Crusader instances like Gab and Octadon give them that, and then what is the point sticking around fedi? They usually just go back. If they have the good fortune to land in the relaxed zones and they realize no one's trying to fight them, they calm down and stop being so defensive and start having fun or learning stuff or creating things.